Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Randomize
