i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
