Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
