out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
