I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
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