Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
