I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
