IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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