Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
