that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
