ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She even gives head with a lisp.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
