This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
