Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
