Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
