i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
