He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
