hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
