Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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