If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You have to summon your inner elephant
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
