why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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