i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
