hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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