I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
