I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
