I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
The beer is more important than you right now.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
be right there i have to get my cape
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
