i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
