You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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