Do vagina's smell?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
