She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
