I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
