i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
its liver damage thursday
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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