how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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