you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
