Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
