Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
