im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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