i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
