I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
