too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
