just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
