What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
