My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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