Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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