walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
my being single is dangerous.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
