I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Boobs speak an international language.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
