loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
