Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Randomize
