Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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