Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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