weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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