Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
