we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
