I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
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