dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
then he tried to convert me to islam
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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