there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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