someone get that fucking seahorse.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
