i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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